Friday, October 14, 2011

Adventures in Seniorland


For years now, my mother has been helping the little old lady down the street with odd tasks around the house and trips to town.  Recently, this spitfire elderly woman has realized I’m as much of a sucker as my mother is and now she has the two of us catering to her every whim.  I’m not complaining (too much), I mean she pays well enough.  But sometimes, I think I may be a little too willing to do anything for money.  She challenges my psyche at every turn.

First of all-I don’t like old people.  I’m sorry, that sounds mean but it’s the truth.  They are knocking on death’s doorstep, a living example of what I have to look forward as each year passes.  I grow greatly uncomfortable when faced with my own mortality.  I do NOT want to get old; lose mobility and muscle tone, sagging skin with wrinkles, failing organs and senses.  Ew.  (The discount sounds nice though.)  And I certainly do not want to die.  So just being in her presence makes me anxious.  I suck it up anyway, not only do I have a very hard time telling people “no”  but I desperately need the money she offers.

Trying to ignore her senior shuffle and bad wig (will I lose my hair?) is the least of my worries on this particular day.  You see, I tend to be a bit of a social-phobe.  When I head to a store- I go in, get what exactly what I went for, and leave.  In and out.  One and done.  Not her, we wander and look and analyze and back track.  We have a list, and do manage to get everything on it, but we also find a necessity for just about anything else that catches her eye.  “Oooh kiwi fruit! I love kiwi fruit but only when they have hair on them.  If they don’t have hair on them, the taste makes me want to barf” Repeat six times in two different stores. Speaking of one and done, I also go to one store.  Store hopping is not in my vocabulary.  The more stops on my trip, the more anxious I become.  A little side note to any who plan a road trip with me, this also applies.  I stop for gas and get right back on the road.  I apologize in advance if you’re a smoker or have a small bladder.  Better get a patch and some Depends, it’ll be a long trip for you.  But anyway, because of this little quirk of mine taking my neighbor shopping is intensely stressful for me.  She buys her produce at one store, the bulk of her groceries at another.  Then there’s the wholesale warehouse store stop and off to the liquor store we go too.  Let’s not forget about the bank; one must always stop at the bank, even if one has no business to do there.  All of this takes about three hours.  That’s three solid hours of intentionally causing myself anxiety and stress, just for a few bucks.  About halfway through is when I start to weigh the question “how desperate am I?  Is this really worth it?”   I spend most of the time talking myself out of my tree.

What do you imagine would happen when you spend three hours with a person that doesn’t leave the house or have really any social interaction but for this one weekly trip?  Yeah, she wants to talk.  How lovely for me.  I act more like a sounding board, listening to how drunk and awful her no good son is, or how fat and awful her unmarried daughter is or the latest drama with all those connected to her.   Mind you, I’ve have not met a single one of these people but feel it’s beneficial to me to learn their names and follow along.  She asks questions about my son and my mother, but isn’t terribly interested in the answers.  I suppose I should view this idle conversation as a welcome distraction to my anxieties, but it’s really not.  It is adding to them.  The sound of her granny voice, her thick German accent, the whining and complaining; it all wears on my nerves.  She’s an eighty something year old woman with a life full of regret.  She buried the love of her life years ago, and misses him intensely each and every day.  Her children are ungrateful, selfish users who eat her food and steal her money.  She goes on and on about how much she’s had over the years and how much she’s lost.  I do not want to be this person.  I do not want to look back on my life with such bitterness.  The outlook she paints is grim and depressing.  So when the conversation takes an unexpected turn on the ride home, it was all I could do to bite my tongue.  My nerves are frayed, my patience is shot and she says “Ya know, I’d vote democrat if their President wasn’t black.  So I don’t.  I know I’m prejudice and I shouldn’t be but I just don’t feel the country should have a black president.”  My eyes grow very wide and I hold my breath.  She continues her little rant about Obama as my teeth dig into my poor tongue.  I look up at the passing street sign, “26th St” and start trying to focus on the simple math that will tell me how many more streets before we arrive at our destination of “57th St.”  I remind myself that she’s from another era, another country too, but it doesn’t help much.  I have a very hard time excusing stupidity.  After unloading three stores worth of groceries and filling her water softener with salt, I gladly take my well earned money and run.  I’d like to say I wouldn’t do it again, but the answer to my question earlier is yes.  Yes, I am this desperate and yes, I need the money so it’s worth it.  So, I’m taking her to get her lottery tickets on Monday.  What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, right?

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