Ruler of my World

So sleepy.  So tired.  Always.  Anxiety rules my world, my body, my life.  It infiltrates every moment, influencing every decision, every action, every thought.  It overpowers me, takes control and panic abounds.  Can’t breathe.  Can’t think.  Chest pain.  Muscle vibration.  Shakes.  **Can’t. Stop. Shaking.**  Hyperventilation begins.  Dizzy.  Disoriented.  Scared. The terror of it all.  Morbid thoughts.  Want it to stop.  NEED it to stop.  **Can’t. Stop. Shaking. **  Panic.  Fear.  I’m pacing.  I’m crying.  I’m pulling at my hair.  Tapping on my head.  I curl up into a ball.  Rock myself in a fetal position.  Concentrate on breathing.  Slow.  Easy.  Tears stop.  Now the decline.  Feel myself coming down.  Exhaustion remains.  It’s all that remains.  So wiped, so defeated.  A mix of other emotions begins to swirl. Embarrassed.  Ashamed.  Infuriated.  This is not ok.  This is not good.  Someone help me.