The shitshow that is my life has no easy fix. There is no magic wand to wave over a pumpkin,
transforming it into my chariot. I’m not
going to come home one day to find my dilapidated house replaced with a
mansion. I have no delusions of grandeur.
There is no fairytale “happily ever after,” life requires work. I know the only way out of this mess is to
fight, scratch and claw my way back out of this hole. But this hole, dug by
countless poor choices and mistakes, has only grown deeper and steeper as the
years have passed. At times, the light above
is just a faint glimmer, the dark walls emanate their sadness, permeating my
essence, poisoning my spirit. There have
been moments I feel I’m making progress, to at least stand on level ground, but
I always lose my footing, fall flat on my ass and find myself right back where
I started, only a little more bruised, a little more hurt, and with a little more
despair with each slip. Yet each time, I
pull myself back to my feet, brush the dust and dirt off my knees and shoulders, and begin the climb again. With renewed
determination and vigor, I fight the fight, in absolute refusal to be bested by anything
life throws at me.
The casualties of my battles have been a loss of blood,
sweat and many, many tears; broken hearts, broken dreams and broken homes. But where there are casualties, there are
also victories and my victories have been plentiful. While I am currently still in my hole, my victories
have provided me the tools I need to build myself a ladder, to finally rise and
conquer. The light from above is bright and warm. There will be more failures, more setbacks,
but with perseverance, I know I will come out on top. My proverbial hole will become a mountain,
and I will be king.
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